Bad Morning

So today was a bad morning. My wife, Vanessa, and I had a little conversation last night. Anyone that's married know how nighttime conversations can go. You've got two choices. They can either end up with you having sex, or end up with you pissed off. We didn't have sex. Can you ess which choice happened? I bet you can.... Two nights ago I indicated that I wanted to have sex last night. We didn't do it two nights ago because she complained about not being cleean and neededing to take a shower and she didn't feel like doing that at 11:30 at night. No problem, I can wait, I'm a patient man. We've also been having a problem with the drain in our bathtub clogging up; so she wanted to take care of that before she took a shower. Actually, I think her exact words were, "I'm not taking a shower in that goddamn bathroom until you fix the fucking drain." Lovely. So at 11pm last night we fixed the drain.

Little backstory. I'm affectionate and can be very touchy-feely at times. So I came home yesterday and asked her if she had taken that shower yet. She said no of course. Then I made the semi-mistake of telling her that I had been day-dreaming quite a bit about washing her. Am I the only one that thinks it's fun and intimate to wash your spouse??? Her reaction was, and I quote, "oh gross!" Now I have some....unusual....desires in the bedroom. Well, maybe not that unusual but I consider them a bit out of the ordinary. And it does take a lot of trust for me to actually verbalize these desires to my partner without fearing that they'll be disgusted or grossed out. So to hear, "oh gross!"? Yeah I wasn't really happy the rest of the night. It's not like she hasn't heard a million times about how I feel about reactions. If you don't like soemthing, find a better way to say it than "gross". "Gross" makes me NOT want to tell you anything again. Why would I want to constantly feel like I'm some kind of freak to someone? Does anyone else not say things about themselves for fear of how someone they care about will react? I can't be the only one.

So we went to bed pissed off and honestly, I just don't have much energy anymore for trying to make things right before we sleep. I'm a compromiser. I like veryone to be happy and I expect people to act like goddamn adults and deal with things. I was just too tired to try to make an effort at "soothing" her when I felt like it was her fault to begin with.

So it was a bad morning.